your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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