HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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