You really coming over, don't trick.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
