From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
