My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
