There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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