All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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