Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
