If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
