The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
