Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
