i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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