I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
