This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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