Got a toothbrush?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize