I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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