guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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