I got chris browned last night
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize