I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
