It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
