You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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