Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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