Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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