she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
