you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
