Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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