You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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