I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
