his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
