hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
