I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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