i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
