maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
