please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
