Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
