matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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