Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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