it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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