Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's always time for handjobs
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
