i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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