My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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