so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
