There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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