The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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