Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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