So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize