It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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