And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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