Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
