Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
