Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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