I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
