I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
