direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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