Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
