This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
