She's JV to your varsity
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
