Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
