She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
