This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize