She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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